Ferand's first appearances

The very appearance of Ferand at court caused a greater commotion than I have yet seen. He made an initially good impression by way of his height, as he stood several inches above average-sized men like Davidt, Tillenrow and me. It ensured he always attracted attention, although he would have otherwise met little trouble in this. To us he was a strange man with strange ways, including his pronounced variation in manner of eating. He had never encountered a spoon before, which stunned Kate and me.

“Surely they must have soups and stews in the Auveyr!” Kate demanded. Then, sheepishly, she added on a “do they not?”

“Oh yes, of course we have soups!” Ferand laughed. This was always the way; he often had to ask us to explain simple things, like the usage of stockings. But if we ever asked if he was familiar with something, he laughed at how naïve we were to think only we had access to such things.

“Then how do you eat them?” I asked.

“We do not eat them, obviously. Why would you think such a thing?”

“But wait,” I sputtered. “What, then, do you do with them? Why have stews if you will not eat them?”

“To drink them!” He laughed heartily and, after a moment, we all shrugged and chuckled as well. I suppose the lack of spoons and having to drink soups and porridge were the sort of hardships Ariane had suffered in her time away. But to Ferand this was life, and we had complicated it by inventing new utensils and arbitrary rules for eating.

The most curious of all of these rules was the order that one eat while seated. Even to this day, I refuse to believe that every person in all of the Auveyr eats every meal while standing. However, Ferand was consistent for his first three weeks at the Appero in his refusal to chew if not on his feet. “It is unlucky,” he insisted. “The body constantly seeks a state of satisfaction, and to be full of food and still of movement is one such state. Once it attains what it seeks, it has fulfilled its purpose and will cease to live.”

This superstition seemed childish to me, and yet it was we who watched our new brother-in-law with child-like awe. Of course, sharing a table with a standing man offended neurotic Kate’s nerves and rigid Nathia’s manners. Both women insisted that eating in his presence caused them far too much discomfort and that it had to be stopped.

“What would you have him do?” I asked them. “I do not love it either, but he is a man with certain customs, and he cannot shed all of them as soon as he comes to our court.”

“But this is polite society,” Nathia insisted. “For as fickle as Ariane is, I am sure she bothered to inform him that he would have to come live at the Appero, where manners and civilization reign. If he has come here he should learn to adjust to our sensibilities.”

“And perhaps he will. An adjustment is not immediate; rather, it takes time, and I believe Ferand has done his best to make such an adjustment in other aspects.”

“Well if his wife had not been derelict in training politeness in him when they first met, the adjustment might have begun long ago. But I should not be surprised, as Ariane has never placed much stock in manners or the appropriate.”

Seeing that the conversation was becoming negative, or merely because she was in her own world, Kate took a different approach. “Perhaps he can squat over a chair, such that he takes the form of a sitting man, but his buttocks do not come into any contact with it.”

“Oh Kate, I hardly think that poses any sort of solution,” Nathia scolded.

“It certainly is not comfortable and does not lend itself to a state of satisfaction, as Ferand desires. Unless, of course, he has unnaturally strong muscles to his legs. That would certainly make for a fascinating meal to watch!”

This annoyed Nathia, as is to be expected. “It might suffice for him but it does little for us!”

“At the very least it would make him less able to run out of the dining room at a moment’s notice! How am I supposed to eat in peace when someone might suddenly flee from my presence as he drops his hat? It is enough to give me a terrible case of indigestion.”

“That is not the concern. I do not trust a man who places folklorish fallacies before manners. If you are not concerned with either of these you have no place in this conversation.”

Kate did not seem to mind Nathia’s abruptness. “Oh, his superstition concerns me plenty. If he believes that a state of satisfaction is to be avoided at all costs, I worry about how he treats Ariane in their intimate moments!”

This bothered Nathia, however, and she gasped in anger. However, Kate began laughing, and before I noticed my wife’s reaction I had already chimed in. “If he seeks to satisfy her it means he wants her dead; but if he would like her as his wife for many years, he must become intentionally clumsy in his bed!”

Kate and I both began to laugh further, but Nathia would have none of it. “You both clearly hold manners in no high regard, as this is not a topic for appropriate conversation! I will suffer no more of this crass discussion.” With those words she made for the door, and feeling as embarrassed as I suddenly did, I had no choice but to follow slowly after.