Ariane recounts her first sojourn in the Auveyr

After five months of separation, the five Masdilt siblings were united once again. “We are thrilled to have you here once again,” Alix welcomed her. “There are hundreds of things I would love to know of your time in the Auveyr, but first I would inquire what has brought you here now, this fine evening.”

“Nothing in particular,” she responded carelessly. “I felt it was time for a beautiful day at the Appero. When a young woman drops everything for a new life, it is natural to miss what she left behind every once and again, is it not? And I thought ‘there be nothing that holds me back from returning thereto, so why shall I not?’ Then, by the very same indescribable force that willed me to the Auveyr, so it has willed me to return.” These were essentially the first words any of us had heard from her in so long. Yet they remained very Ariane; strong-willed, free-spirited and leaving her listeners just as curious as when they began.

“Well?” Davidt demanded. “I do not even know where to begin. What was it like? Whom worthy of note did you meet? Did it satisfy your expectations? There are so many details we desire to know right now, so let you not put us on any longer!”

“As you will brother,” Ariane responded, winking. “Calm yourself and let it come in time. I met no one and everyone of note. Among the acquaintances I made, I had previously heard of none of them, yet they have each had some sort of influence on me. Farmers and craftsmen and gentlemen alike have taught me the meaner ways of life, and I boast now that I can slaughter a chicken just as a butcher can.”

Alix began to ask for a chronological recount—“first tell us of the journey to Sill, then of your making your way, then how the people adjusted to you…” and so on—but I interrupted this demand. “No, there will be plenty of time for that. First, I believe, we should hear her general impressions of the vacation, and as time goes on we shall learn more about these specifics.”

I trust that Ariane’s motives in this vacation were as she stated. She was motivated by adventure, and I think that she threw herself headlong into this quest merely out of curiosity. But if that was the expected benefit, this was one she might not have anticipated. Almost as much as adventure, Ariane loved to be the center of attention. She held few pleasures in the same esteem as having access to knowledge and being able to distribute it according to her own desire.

“I have never enjoyed my life so, nor have I ever feared for my life so. There was no single moment that provided me with the immense joy or satisfaction that seems necessary for this, nor was there anything that was a direct threat. Rather, I slept every night knowing that I would face new challenges on the morrow. I knew I would have the opportunity to test each of my muscles and all of my mettle, to train my wits and my will. Yet, I also knew that the consequences were much direr in Sill than they were at the Appero. What if I consumed a piece of poison fruit or a taste of bad meat? These are things we never even consider here, yet the threat was very real. My life was difficult, as I did almost everything for myself, but this difficulty made me feel as though I was living my life with much more intensity than I had ever experienced here.”

We sat for a moment in silenced awe. We nodded to recognize that the words had entered through our ears and into our brains, but I doubt if any of us truly understand just what she was explaining. Her entire point was that it was beyond her mind’s old realm of possibilities, and it was therefore incomprehensible to us, who were still of Ariane’s old point of view. Alix was the most doubting of all of us, and perhaps that is why she was the first to follow this up with further questioning. “Everything for yourself? Is it utter wilderness there? Surely there must be some small markets, some villages in which goods are manufactured. You said farmers and craftsmen! Then you would not have had to craft your own possessions or harvest your own food.”

“Yes, that is correct. I should not say I did everything for myself, but rather that, in comparison to life here, it seemed that way. Meat is sold at the market, but I could only purchase what my ladies and I could carry in our arms. I soon found it better to buy meat two days a week and live off of the manor’s livestock for the rest. This mostly meant collecting a few eggs on odd days, but when I desired the meat of a chicken, I had no choice but to kill one and cook it for myself. There was no staff at the manor; I insisted upon it. So daily household chores, from cooking to cleaning to tending to the animals were our collective responsibility. I should add that we made a few friends in town who taught my ladies and me to do much of these things, but within a month we were doing everything ourselves.”

It was such a strange lifestyle, something that seemed so far removed from anything we had ever known. The sister of a grand duke was fending for herself, living self-sufficiently. It was as though we lived in a wild country and, indeed, Ariane had just done so. But now I wanted my turn at interrogation. Alix and Davidt had asked questions about her experience but I was concerned with me. “This is all fascinating, good sister. I am glad to hear you had such a time of it, especially as I worried for you so. Why did we receive only a few small words of your fare? Is there no paper or ink in that part of the world?”

“Now Andrew, you know I almost never write letters! If I sent you a note about each of my adventures I would have little to tell you all right now. Letters are for urgent matters or else for people whom I do not plan to see. You are not the latter and I had none of the former for you, so why should I write?”

“At least let you send us one that we may know you think of us. We have missed you, Ariane.”

“But you know I missed you. Or, at least, I did at first. But missing you is a matter to learn that I should put you out of my mind for a time. I designated that halfyear to experience the Auveyr on my own, so it does not meet to think on what I have left behind. Of course you crossed my mind on occasion—and at those moments brought a smile to my lips—but I knew I would see you again soon.”

This was a minor outrage to us, as it seemed she did not even care for us. She had never even departed the nearest parts of our thoughts. We set an extra place for her at formal dinners, we discussed and guessed her escapades on a daily basis. How could we have come to her mind so rarely?

I could see Kate and Alix shake their heads, and I realized I had crossed my arms. The exchange had made Tillenrow smile, while Ariane seemed totally oblivious to our reactions. It is unfair what casual control Ariane yields over us. She knows just how to leave her friends and family wanting more, such that she can claim not to have thought of us for five whole months and get off with a minor scolding. We can declare the offense we have taken, and Ariane will apologize and justify, but we can never tell her just how improper it is to send us one brief note during such an extensive span of time.

Ariane avoided being scolded in many similar situations because she made for such pleasant company. She kept us laughing or she challenged our ways of thinking, and we relished what time she spent with us. One always left Ariane’s presence feeling refreshed, with a new take on an old idea. It seemed impossible not to desire just a bit more time to let her pick your mind.

Perhaps she did not know this. It is possible that she lived in total ignorance of this common perception of her. She was an enigma; an extrovert socialite who loved to spend time with all different sorts of people, but a woman who demanded frequent time to herself. It might be unfair to accuse her of inventing this need to be alone in order to manipulate those close to her, but she was so mysterious, with such an air of completeness, that it is impossible to know.